One of the more powerful experiences I've had recently was seeing Delilah Bon live in concert.
For those unfamiliar, Delilah Bon is the musical project of 28-year-old British singer-songwriter-producer Lauren Tate. The simplest label for her sound would be feminist punk, but like many Gen-Z artists, Tate's influences are eclectic. She draws from everything—Britney Spears, hip-hop, nu-metal, and death metal. The result is a fierce and unapologetic sound that challenges the status quo.
I hadn't listened to any of Delilah Bon's music before going to her show at La Maroquinerie here in Paris. But something about the poster caught my attention. I had a feeling I was in for a powerful ride—and I wasn't wrong.
The crowd that night was unlike any I'd seen in Paris (if there even is such a thing as a "typical" Parisian crowd). It was mostly female, many dressed in ways that signalled a queer, punk, and often butch aesthetic. On more than a few t-shirts, I saw the phrase Dead Men Don't Rape, a reference to one of Delilah Bon's most recognisable songs—an angry anthem that calls out sexual violence.
Anger, specifically female anger, is a strong theme in Delilah Bon's music. Anger about the impossible, hypocritical standards women are held to. Anger about internalised misogyny. Anger about the violence and harassment women experience simply for existing. Anger about sexual violence, often beginning as soon as girls hit puberty—if not before.
And rightly so.
Every issue raised in her lyrics should provoke outrage, not just in women but in all of us. They reflect the ugly realities many people—particularly women and girls—live with every day. Realities that remain largely unspoken in mainstream conversations. Unacceptable truths that are an accepted part of reality.
Delilah Bon doesn't shy away from that. Her music puts that anger front and centre. There's rage in her lyrics, fury in her attitude, and wrath in her voice, which frequently explodes into an extreme metal scream. Tate unleashes her anger through music, and the crowd unleashes theirs with her.
As a straight white man pushing middle-age, how did I feel standing in the middle of this volcano of collective female rage?
Honestly? Inspired. Relieved. Hopeful.
And no, I didn't feel threatened.
Despite song titles like Dead Men Don't Rape and Chop Dicks, this concert wasn't about man-hating. Tate doesn't vilify men, nor does she encourage revenge or mistreatment. Delilah Bon's music is angry at misogyny and patriarchy. She speaks from her lived experience as a woman, but the injustices she sings about are universal. She calls out toxic internet culture, capitalism, and figures like Jeffrey Epstein. And she's one of the few artists I've seen acknowledge male survivors of sexual violence in her lyrics.
And although this blog post has talked about anger as a theme of Delilah Bon's music, there are many others. Maverick, for example, is an anthem calling for self-empowerment through kind self-talk. I read a post from a transgendered person on Instagram describing how important the song had been for them in learning to celebrate their gender identity.
What I found most inspiring was seeing women express their anger out loud. For too long, anger has been a taboo emotion, particularly for women. From an early age, girls are often taught to "be nice," "smile," and "not make a fuss." Anger is seen as unladylike, unattractive, even dangerous.
But anger has a purpose. It tells us something is wrong.
As a therapist, I often work with clients who have been conditioned to suppress their anger. Sometimes they fear their anger will be "too much," or they've never had safe spaces to express it. Yet when we bottle up emotions—especially anger—it doesn't go away. It festers, often turning inward in the form of depression, anxiety, or chronic stress.
In therapy, whether I'm working with men or women, I encourage people to explore their anger. Not to lash out uncontrollably—but to acknowledge it, listen to it, and express it in ways that are healthy and constructive.
Anger can be a powerful energy for change. As Johnny Lydon (of Sex Pistols fame) put it, "Anger is an energy." Punk music, like all the other great social movements in the world—from women's suffrage to civil rights—have been fueled in part by righteous anger.
At its best, anger wakes us up. It motivates us to act. And in a world that often prefers silence over confrontation, finding your voice—even an angry one—can be deeply healing.
If this resonates with you, and you're struggling to navigate your own anger or other complex emotions, therapy can offer a safe space to explore them. As an English-speaking therapist in Paris, I support clients from all walks of life—whether you're an expat adjusting to life in France, a professional dealing with stress, or someone ready to dive deeper into your emotional world.
Anger isn't something to fear. It's something to understand. And when we do, it can become a powerful ally on the path to healing and growth.
What messages did I receive about anger growing up?
How was anger expressed (or not expressed) in my family or culture? Was it safe to show anger?
When was the last time I felt angry?
What triggered it? How did I respond in the moment? Did I express it, suppress it, or redirect it?
What does my anger usually try to tell me?
Is it pointing out a boundary that's been crossed, an injustice, or something I need to change?
How do I feel about expressing anger in front of others?
Do I fear judgment, rejection, or conflict? What holds me back from sharing my anger openly?
What healthy ways can I express anger that feel authentic and safe?
For example: physical movement, creative outlets, direct conversations, or setting boundaries.
How might honouring my anger lead to greater personal growth or healing?
What positive changes could come from listening to and working with my anger, rather than suppressing it?
If you'd like to talk about your experiences—whether related to anger, life transitions, or emotional wellbeing—feel free to reach out. I offer individual therapy in English in Paris, both in person and online. Together, we can create a space where all of your feelings are welcome.
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